Tell Him Jesus Sent You

If God looks like this, though, think it over a bit first.

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ArcherAll species are transitional.

Ah, the memories!I once lived in a US neighborhood that was being evangelistically exploded. It was an Amway premise. Your network/church can grow exponentially forever, in complete defiance of the laws of economics/reality, because you have a product/answer everybody wants. Just hire our consultant, who will train members of your laity to become evangelistically exploding cobalt bombs. After that just keep up the hustle.When the cobalt bombs came to my door to do their exploding, the pitch opened with a question. 'If you died and met God today, and God asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?'Jon's bus evangelist (OP) struck me as a grad of such a program who misfired when he tried to explode. He has been drilled in the pitch but the gunpowder is old. He garbled the presentation and blew up his own theology. Post-mortem conversions, as our colleagues attest, are not a feature of Christian orthodoxy.Evangelistic explosions malfunction like any other. When the fireworks are cheap and the weather is damp, you see a lot of duds.___Edited by Archer Opterix, : messing around.Edited by Archer Opterix, : still messing around.

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ArcherAll species are transitional.

Welcome to EvC, Calypso. Congrats on a great pen name!

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...the pitch opened with a question. 'If you died and met God today, and God asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?'

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At the time it would have been something like that. 'You're God. You know the answer better than I do.' I don't really remember.I do remember the response they wanted. It was the Anselmic Doctrine of Satisfaction as processed for mass consumption by the inventors of Chicken McNuggets. God isn't supposed to see you standing there. He's supposed to see Jesus standing there. So you have to say something that will conjure Jesus to be seen standing there instead of you. God forbid that God actually sees you standing there because then you're barbecue. That kind of thing.Basically, if you gave the Evangelism Exploders an answer without the word 'Jesus' in it, they took it as a wrong answer. Jesus is the big brother whose ID you need to borrow to enter the club. No ID, God calls the bouncers.Three months ago a similar question was asked by one of our sterner fundies. He didn't ask what you would say, just where God would send you and why. I played the game straight in Message 24.How about you, Calypso?___

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ArcherAll species are transitional.

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'If you died and met God today, and God asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?'
(Message 14)

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I enjoyed your answer in that November thread I linked to. Paraphrasing: you said if heaven was full of intolerant fundie zealots you'd rather spend your eternity with the rejects.___

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ArcherAll species are transitional.

I hadn't thought of the song but had wondered if you intended a reference to Cousteau's ship.It's also a good musical name. Invokes steel drums, beach cookouts, palm fronds, and colorful drinks with paper umbrellas. I like Archaeopteryx for a lot of reasons. I made a proper name out of the genus name to avoid confusion with the actual Jurassic creature. Thanks, but I wasn't simply joking.The OP defined heaven as bliss. It then asked two hypothetical questions.Hypothetical questions invite hypothetical answers.

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OP: If you were to die a few minutes from now where do you think God would send you?

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AO: He would send me to a place like Taiwan, only with cleaner air and wider sidewalks.

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OP: And why do you think he would send you there?

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AO: Because he likes my company and knows I would appreciate it.

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As good a hypothesis as any.___Edited by Archer Opterix, : html.

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ArcherAll species are transitional.

quote:

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'If you died and met God today, and God asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?'

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Message 17 is the best I can remember. Today I would likely say this:

'Because we'd enjoy each other's company and you know I'd appreciate it.'

What would you say?___
Edited by Archer Opterix, : html.

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ArcherAll species are transitional.