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Author Topic:   I need help from everybody.
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 1 of 12 (127634)
07-26-2004 2:57 AM


I need as many jokes on fishermen and people whose names start with the letter "I" as possible. The more insulting to fishermen and people whose names start with "I" the better. Actually, please only post jokes that are insulting.
I'll explain later. For now, please post as many jokes as you can.

The Laminator
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!

Replies to this message:
 Message 2 by coffee_addict, posted 07-26-2004 3:02 AM coffee_addict has not replied
 Message 8 by PecosGeorge, posted 07-26-2004 8:06 PM coffee_addict has not replied

  
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 2 of 12 (127635)
07-26-2004 3:02 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by coffee_addict
07-26-2004 2:57 AM


Scratch that. Post jokes insulting to fishermen and the name Tom.

The Laminator
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by coffee_addict, posted 07-26-2004 2:57 AM coffee_addict has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 3 by crashfrog, posted 07-26-2004 5:18 AM coffee_addict has replied

  
crashfrog
Member (Idle past 1467 days)
Posts: 19762
From: Silver Spring, MD
Joined: 03-20-2003


Message 3 of 12 (127660)
07-26-2004 5:18 AM
Reply to: Message 2 by coffee_addict
07-26-2004 3:02 AM


Post jokes insulting to fishermen and the name Tom.
Tom the fisherman gets married to his high school sweetheart, Alice. During the reception, he suddenly notices that his new wife is nowhere to be found. He gets a few of his buddies together to find her.
Eventually they track down Alice in a coatcheck room. When they open the door, they find the best man Rob busy having sex with Alice.
Fisherman Tom turns to his friends and says "Rob is so stupid, he thinks he's me!"

This message is a reply to:
 Message 2 by coffee_addict, posted 07-26-2004 3:02 AM coffee_addict has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 4 by coffee_addict, posted 07-26-2004 1:49 PM crashfrog has not replied

  
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 4 of 12 (127809)
07-26-2004 1:49 PM
Reply to: Message 3 by crashfrog
07-26-2004 5:18 AM


Keep it coming! Revenge is at hand.

The Laminator
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by crashfrog, posted 07-26-2004 5:18 AM crashfrog has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 5 by mike the wiz, posted 07-26-2004 2:02 PM coffee_addict has replied

  
mike the wiz
Member
Posts: 4752
From: u.k
Joined: 05-24-2003


Message 5 of 12 (127813)
07-26-2004 2:02 PM
Reply to: Message 4 by coffee_addict
07-26-2004 1:49 PM


Respond to them with kindness - it'll blow them away. It will utterly flabagast them. It will confuse and embarrass them. It will turn the tables, it'll shock their socks off.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 4 by coffee_addict, posted 07-26-2004 1:49 PM coffee_addict has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 9 by coffee_addict, posted 07-27-2004 12:54 AM mike the wiz has not replied

  
jar
Member (Idle past 394 days)
Posts: 34026
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 6 of 12 (127865)
07-26-2004 4:05 PM


Tom and Bill were out on the lake when Tom dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Tom said, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."

Aslan is not a Tame Lion

  
jar
Member (Idle past 394 days)
Posts: 34026
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 7 of 12 (127868)
07-26-2004 4:08 PM


Many years ago, Tom's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, Tom said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us."
After several weeks had passed, the Tom and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away.
The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three month voyage.
The three months passed quickly for the fisherman's wife, yet the ship had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship. Three whole years passed before the greiving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. "My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?" she cried.
The ragged fisherman began to tell his story: "We were just barely one whole day out to see when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again."
"Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been!"
"Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away...."

Aslan is not a Tame Lion

  
PecosGeorge
Member (Idle past 6872 days)
Posts: 863
From: Texas
Joined: 04-09-2004


Message 8 of 12 (127925)
07-26-2004 8:06 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by coffee_addict
07-26-2004 2:57 AM


I ask a simple question
the truth I only wish
are all fishermen liars
or do only liars fish
that's all I know, and i hope it helps.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by coffee_addict, posted 07-26-2004 2:57 AM coffee_addict has not replied

  
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 9 of 12 (127959)
07-27-2004 12:54 AM
Reply to: Message 5 by mike the wiz
07-26-2004 2:02 PM


I am on the opposite side of pacifism. If they hit, I'll knife them from behind. If they kick me, I'll castrate them. If they fire a gun at me, I'll nuke their cities. After all, if you wipe out your enemies, you won't have to worry that they'll come back in the future.
But anyway, jokes aside, I need to come up with more ways to hit back without violating forum rules.
I recently got banned for a week from a mod name Tom on another forum for not editing out "fucking shit" in an article that I copied and pasted. It was an honest mistake.

The Laminator
For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 5 by mike the wiz, posted 07-26-2004 2:02 PM mike the wiz has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 10 by SRO2, posted 07-27-2004 1:07 AM coffee_addict has not replied

  
SRO2 
Inactive Member


Message 10 of 12 (127961)
07-27-2004 1:07 AM
Reply to: Message 9 by coffee_addict
07-27-2004 12:54 AM


Lam
Sometimes you have to take your undeserved bruises and move on.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 9 by coffee_addict, posted 07-27-2004 12:54 AM coffee_addict has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 11 by Mission for Truth, posted 07-28-2004 11:01 PM SRO2 has not replied

  
Mission for Truth
Inactive Member


Message 11 of 12 (128498)
07-28-2004 11:01 PM
Reply to: Message 10 by SRO2
07-27-2004 1:07 AM


Re: Lam
Lol. Fuck that I'm with Lam.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 10 by SRO2, posted 07-27-2004 1:07 AM SRO2 has not replied

  
Wertbag
Inactive Member


Message 12 of 12 (129065)
07-31-2004 12:11 AM


Tom decides to go ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice.
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, and a loud booming voice says, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THAT ICE!"
The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice repeats, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The drunk looks up and says, "God? Is this God trying to warn me?"
The voice says "NO, I'M THE MANAGER OF THIS ICE RINK."
Tom phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
One day Tom and Bob went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake.
Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!''
But Tom said, '' No! How will we know it's your spit?''
They thought and thought and finally Bob said, '' I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!''
But Tom said ''No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?''

  
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