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Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
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Author | Topic: I need help from everybody. | |||||||||||||||||||
coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
I need as many jokes on fishermen and people whose names start with the letter "I" as possible. The more insulting to fishermen and people whose names start with "I" the better. Actually, please only post jokes that are insulting.
I'll explain later. For now, please post as many jokes as you can. The Laminator For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
Scratch that. Post jokes insulting to fishermen and the name Tom.
The Laminator For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!
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crashfrog Member (Idle past 1467 days) Posts: 19762 From: Silver Spring, MD Joined: |
Post jokes insulting to fishermen and the name Tom. Tom the fisherman gets married to his high school sweetheart, Alice. During the reception, he suddenly notices that his new wife is nowhere to be found. He gets a few of his buddies together to find her. Eventually they track down Alice in a coatcheck room. When they open the door, they find the best man Rob busy having sex with Alice. Fisherman Tom turns to his friends and says "Rob is so stupid, he thinks he's me!"
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
Keep it coming! Revenge is at hand.
The Laminator For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!
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mike the wiz Member Posts: 4752 From: u.k Joined: |
Respond to them with kindness - it'll blow them away. It will utterly flabagast them. It will confuse and embarrass them. It will turn the tables, it'll shock their socks off.
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jar Member (Idle past 394 days) Posts: 34026 From: Texas!! Joined: |
Tom and Bill were out on the lake when Tom dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Tom said, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."
Aslan is not a Tame Lion |
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jar Member (Idle past 394 days) Posts: 34026 From: Texas!! Joined: |
Many years ago, Tom's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, Tom said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us."
After several weeks had passed, the Tom and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three month voyage. The three months passed quickly for the fisherman's wife, yet the ship had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship. Three whole years passed before the greiving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. "My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?" she cried. The ragged fisherman began to tell his story: "We were just barely one whole day out to see when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again." "Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been!" "Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away...." Aslan is not a Tame Lion |
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PecosGeorge Member (Idle past 6872 days) Posts: 863 From: Texas Joined: |
I ask a simple question
the truth I only wish are all fishermen liars or do only liars fish that's all I know, and i hope it helps.
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coffee_addict Member (Idle past 477 days) Posts: 3645 From: Indianapolis, IN Joined: |
I am on the opposite side of pacifism. If they hit, I'll knife them from behind. If they kick me, I'll castrate them. If they fire a gun at me, I'll nuke their cities. After all, if you wipe out your enemies, you won't have to worry that they'll come back in the future.
But anyway, jokes aside, I need to come up with more ways to hit back without violating forum rules. I recently got banned for a week from a mod name Tom on another forum for not editing out "fucking shit" in an article that I copied and pasted. It was an honest mistake. The Laminator For goodness's sake, please vote Democrat this November!
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SRO2  Inactive Member |
Sometimes you have to take your undeserved bruises and move on.
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Mission for Truth Inactive Member |
Lol. Fuck that I'm with Lam.
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Wertbag Inactive Member |
Tom decides to go ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice.
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, and a loud booming voice says, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THAT ICE!" The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice repeats, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The drunk looks up and says, "God? Is this God trying to warn me?" The voice says "NO, I'M THE MANAGER OF THIS ICE RINK." Tom phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box." One day Tom and Bob went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake.Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!'' But Tom said, '' No! How will we know it's your spit?'' They thought and thought and finally Bob said, '' I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!'' But Tom said ''No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?'' |
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