There's yet another way to assure that you go to hell: simply attribute to Satan any of the miracles that the bible attributes to Jesus. I'm not sure what bible verse this is based on, but biblical literalists seem to agree that doing this will surely send you to hell with no possibility of redemption. I remember reading an article some time ago by an atheist college professor who says he does this in order to stop fundies in their attempts to "save" him.
Just start yellin'; "SATAN RASED LAZERUS!" at 'em....I also heard a chalk line of a body in the driveway with Watch Towers scattered around is effective.
A friend of mine used to open the door to Jehova's Witnesses with a bloody knife in his hand (tomato juice will do fine) and ask them: "Could you come back later? We're rather busy now with a virgin." Rather rudely, they would not return.
This message has been edited by Parasomnium, 10-25-2004 08:42 AM
"It's amazing what you can learn from DNA." - Desdamona.