God has a sense of humor

Two nuns were walking thru an alley on the way to a local soup kitchen. Two men jumped and raped them.Afterwards Sister Agatha, understandably distaught, kept saying "How do we tell Mother Superior that we were raped twice today?"Sister John looked at her and asked, "What do you mean by twice?"Sister Agatha replied, "Well we need to walk thru the alley again on our way home."

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Asgara
"Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever....but get over it"http://asgarasworld.bravepages.com

A priest was going out to play golf one day and his caddy had to cancel. He talked the mother superior into helping him out. He was putting on the second hole and the shot went way past the hole. "Christ, I missed!!", declared the priest. The mother superior was shocked," I can't believe you said that, sir, you shouldn't say such things."The priest merely shrugged at her and moved on. On the tenth hole, he had a mere ten foot putt, which went way off. "Christ, I missed!!", the priest yelled again. "I really object to your language, sir, God will strike you down if you continue like that." The priest glowered at her for a moment, then moved on.Finally, on the 18th hole, the priest missed a short putt to the hole. " CHRIST, I MISSED!!!!" shrieked the priest. As The mother superior began to protest, dark clouds formed overhead and a bolt of lightning struck her, and she fell dead to the ground.After a few moments of silence a rumbling came from the sky, "Christ, I missed...."

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Aslan is not a Tame Lion

steve responds to me:

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Honestly, I used to think the same way you do

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And what, pray tell, is the way I think?You don't seriously think I'm an atheist just because I comprehend the atheist position, do you?I made quite a study of Ancient Greek mythology (being Greek). Does that mean I am a pagan?Hint: Just because I don't believe in your god doesn't mean I don't believe in any god.

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But it took me believing first

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Isn't that a self-fulfilling prophecy? God only reveals himself to people who already think he's there? You wouldn't accept that as evidence in any other scenario."Try our miracle baldness cure! This guy with a full head of hair has been taking it since he was 12 in order to ensure he never goes bald and look! He hasn't!"What you still don't seem to understand is that pretty much all atheists had that same belief you did.But strangely, they came to the realization that it wasn't real.

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Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

Suburban Virgin Mary is in the kitchen, cooking up something heavenly when the teenaged Messiah comes bursting in from the back door for a soda from the fridge. She cries out:"Jesus Christ! Shut the door! Where were you born, a barn?"-----Now when Jesus was born, the three wisemen brought as gifts gold, frankensense, and myrrh.Myrrh.To a baby shower.Well, I'm sure Mary was polite about it, "Oh...myrrh...how lovely...one never can have enough...myrrh!"And then under her breath, "They call themselves 'wisemen' and they bring myrrh! Couldn't they bring something we need like a cradle? Jesus Christ!" [sudden dawning] "That's what I'll name him! I wanna remember this cheap gift!"And then Joseph and Mary would throw a party:"Who's coming?""The Wisemans.""Och, the Wisemans! I hate the Wisemans. They always bring bad gifts. I hope they follow the wrong star and get lost. Bad mood? Bad mood?! Sure, I'm in a bad mood. I haven't had sex...EVER!"

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Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

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Dang you athiests, you really done it this time.

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What makes you think I'm an athiest?...and you are obviously quite intolerant.

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Q: Why did God create man first?
A: Because he didn't want advise on how to do it!

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Q: Why did God create man first?A: Because he wanted to practice before making His masterpiece.

This is what you said, which is how I used to think. What's your confusion?Now, if you are this all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful being and you know that I am looking for you and you know that the only way I will be able to comprehend your message is if you present it on my termsMy terms: How about looking for God on His terms?

I can only go by what you say to conjecture as to what you think, so when I say what you think, I'm basing it on what you say, unless what you say is not what you think.Believing something doesn't make it true, but believing in truth is what I do.Like I keep saying, you have to actually try it, experience, live it.Arguing on a message board ain't gonna do it. You can't know something taste good without eating it, right? Well, taste and see that God is good.You want it on your terms, well here I am, writing to you on an internet message board, where you all seem to spend quite a bit of time and telling you about God. How much simpler do you want Him to talk to you, what more "terms" do you have for Him to reach you?

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You want it on your terms, well here I am, writing to you on an internet message board, where you all seem to spend quite a bit of time and telling you about God. How much simpler do you want Him to talk to you, what more "terms" do you have for Him to reach you?

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Are you saying you are god? I think the terms that the atheist wants is something to the effect of god showing up, answering a few questions, maybe a picture or two. You know, the same ways you can verify the existence of anyone.

We are made in the image of God. If you can't see Him in people, you don't want to see Him.I see Him everywhere I look.

Does this mean he has acne?

Any chance you could be delusional? If a person claims that he sees goblins everywhere he look, most people would think that he is delusional. What's so special in your case?

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The Laminator

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Because I said I see God, not goblins.

steve responds to me:

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Now, if you are this all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful being and you know that I am looking for you and you know that the only way I will be able to comprehend your message is if you present it on my terms

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My terms: How about looking for God on His terms?

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Because imperfect human beings are incapable of understanding god's terms.By your logic, we should throw six-year-olds into a class on Quantum Chromodynamics and if they fail, well that's because they refused to do so on the professor's terms.

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Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

steve responds to me:

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I can only go by what you say to conjecture as to what you think

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And where did I even hint that I was an atheist?Just because I don't believe in your god does not mean I don't believe in any god.Just because I disagree with your theology does not mean I don't have any theology.Just because I understand the atheist position does not mean I am an atheist.

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Like I keep saying, you have to actually try it, experience, live it.

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Atheists did.They really did.They came to the realization that it wasn't real.Who are you to tell them they weren't doing it right?

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You want it on your terms, well here I am, writing to you on an internet message board, where you all seem to spend quite a bit of time and telling you about God.

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No, that's not right. If god wanted to get through to me, he wouldn't do it on a BBS. Too many wackos out there who merely think they're following god.

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How much simpler do you want Him to talk to you

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I didn't say it had to be simple. I simply said it had to be on my terms.And you seem to be incapable of dealing with me on my terms such that you can then show me something in a way I will understand with perfect clarity. That doesn't hold much hope for you being the bearer of god's message.

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what more "terms" do you have for Him to reach you?

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You mean you don't know?And you claim to speak for god?

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Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!