Tom decides to go ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice.
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, and a loud booming voice says, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THAT ICE!"
The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice repeats, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The drunk looks up and says, "God? Is this God trying to warn me?"
The voice says "NO, I'M THE MANAGER OF THIS ICE RINK."
Tom phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
One day Tom and Bob went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake.
Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!''
But Tom said, '' No! How will we know it's your spit?''
They thought and thought and finally Bob said, '' I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!''
But Tom said ''No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?''